so

i am writing poems.

who wants to see?

yg

yg
Originally uploaded by jarujav

my cute youth group!

life

oh life. it's so fun, isn't it? i feel almost giddily happy right now, with a tiny little titch of crabbiness. sounds contradictory, but i'm just telling you how things go. :-)

atlanta, for those of you who care, was great and difficult and hard ... my class is about "thinking theologically," and as we did our meta-thinking, i re-realized how much i love the Word of God. it got me thinking whether i should be in a theological studies program as opposed to the youth min leadership one i was in. being the lovely OCD-sufferer i am, i thought about it a LOT while in atlanta.

i've prayed about it and talked with people about it, and i've decided not to continue with the youth min leadership program. note: this does NOT mean that i don't want to do youth ministry! in fact, i imagine that i'll probably be "in" youth min til i grow senile. but i don't necessarily want to learn "tools" of the trade. i will likely never be a standard "youth pastor" at a church.

so, now what? i don't know. theological studies? they have it at NWC. writing? that's what i feel passionate about, but i don't know ...

part of me just wishes there were more TIME. i would love to have extra time to focus on God, Scripture, people, and learning. 24 hours, wow. please pray that GOD will show me what direction to go.

on a sidenote, i feel like i'm growing up. still crazy, just growing up.

oh, snow.

it's heeeeeere ...

i pretty much hate cold weather; i don't like bad roads and getting the bottom of my jeans wet. i don't like having to start my car 20 minutes before i leave somewhere.

so why was i feeling so happy tonight as i drove home sloooowly, pleased as punch to be a minnesotan?

:-)

blogging

why do i go through spurts where i never blog and times when i do everyday?

sweet minnesota

i'm home. i'm glad.

the past five days have been SO STRETCHING. i'll share more soon. in the meantime, you can pray for me. i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do with my life.

love,
jackie lea

my day

has been so long!!!

Got up at 6am; Linds took me to the airport. My flight was just fine, and the Atlanta airport was a piece of cake (so much for the warnings I'd heard!). My hotel is pretty great ... Southern hospitality, I tell ya! I picked up the phone and dialed the front desk, and they answered, "Miss Sommers, how can we help you?" Yikes! Haha!

I explored downtown a little this afternoon, nothing major. Tomorrow class starts! I hope I'm on top of things!!! Jesus, help!

How is everyone?
love,
jackie lea

tomorrie

atlanta.

pray!!!

love.

the update

LIFE! Augh! Crazy but I love it.

Here's what's up with me ...

Fall travel
Done! I've been on the road for most of the last month and a half, but I'm home again!

Grad school
Just one class: Thinking Theologically in Youth Ministry. It's going well so far, but I mourn a bit my evenings, which no longer belong to me. I finished my textbook last night (well, actually, I woke up [I'm sick] around 3am and read for about an hour, finishing it off), so that's good. Still, I have another assignment due this week, and then ...

Atlanta
I travel to Atlanta next Wednesday through Sunday for my on-site class. I've never flown alone before, and I'm scared. :-S

Youth group
Fabulous. Love those kiddos.

Church
Fabulous. Love North Haven. I've been there nearly a year now.

Jesus
More than fabulous. I adore Him.

hello?

anyone still read this? besides seestor? :-)

monday

i start grad school! pray!!!! :-)

grad school

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

i just booked my flight to atlanta in november for my first in-person, on-site class!

I'M SO NERVOUS ... AND EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

sigh

finished my harry potter book last night. and cried.

missed the characters today. cried again.

obsessed with literature? who, me?

thought you'd be glad to know ...

that i feel like i am RADIATING happiness right now. :-)

it's 12:43am, and i'm reading book 7, and i love my life, and i LOVE my LIFE.

thank You, beautiful Savior, for ... everything. Your loveliness astounds me.

my life as of late

if i had to sum up my recent life-activities in 3 words ...

work
Harry
Potter

money

ack.

life

absolutely crazy. but still wonderful. but still crazy.

soon i'll be traveling for work and life will (in some ways) settle down for me, so i'll be a more routine updater.

how's life for YOU? post a comment; i'd love to hear from you!

thanks for asking, luke ...

i did get my blood test results back, and they seemed normal to the doctor. since things are NOT normal, i have to go back. :-(

great day!

Hooray, today was lovely!

Details:
church at wonderful North Haven (i'm really thinking about becoming a member) and seeing the youth group girlies

lunch

work shopping

made banana cream pudding

washed the dishes

wrote my next draft of my story for writing group

read HP5 for a bit

went to Vespers

now i'm home, and i'm happy! :-)

writing all that down, i realize that that might not look like the greatest day to most people, but i feel SO productive! and, as i said, happy! :-)

if i could talk to eir, that'd complete my night!!

lifelight 2007!

hooray! i'm back in sioux falls for the lifelight music festival, fourth year running (for me)!

a bit of history: it was at lifelight last year that i began to be a consistent blogger. :-)

i'm excited to meet lots of great new sodak peeps! pray for me, des, rachel, and sarah, that we connect with lots of kids and have a blast! :-)

bed time

but i'm up posting on my blog.

i love my life. i DO wish i could sleep for about 4 days straight though.

love.

happymeal

doesn't a happymeal just seem like something a person deserves after having their blood drawn?

i didn't get one for myself, but something about it seems quite right.

i survived today, OF COURSE.

results should be back in a week or less. pray for me!! love love!

doctor tomorrow

and i am scared to have my blood drawn. hopefully they will discover what's wrong with me though! pray!

love love,
jackie lea

long time, no blog.

i'm sick. pray for me! i go to the doctor on tuesday.

lots has happened!

camp was fanTASTic! but of course!

i spoke for des' youth group in the mankato area.

whit had a High School Musical 2 party at her place last night.

i love my life.

35W Mississippi River Bridge

Today it collapsed.

This is the road I take to go to eir's house.

It is a bizarre thing to watch news coverage of devastation that has occurred in my own backyard.

My stomach feels sick, and when it begins to settle, I look at the TV screen and there it is again. This is about 7-8 miles from where I'm typing right now. My roommate was ON this bridge 2 hours before it collapsed.

Please pray! The death toll is up to 6 so far. I feel so sick when I think that I might know someone involved. I am watching Facebook status updates to see that my friends are ok.

circular?

i have been a consistent blogger for nearly one year now ... labor day weekend will mark the anniversary.

congratulations to me.

megs!

she's back in MN for three weeks for a med school rotation at the U!

huzzah!

we had dinner tonight with amanda; then they came over to my house and we looked at megs' africa pics and watched her camp videos.

WELCOME HOME, MEGS!!!!

emmaline!

i went to tracy's baby shower today, and it was lovely seeing her! i saw her for about an hour last october, and not since then, so it was nice to not only go to her shower but to spend a few afternoon hours with her at her parents' house too.

yay for old friends!

yay for baby emmaline joining us soon!

it's so waaaaaaaaaaaarm ...

blah blah blah.

write to me, people.

love,
jls

stunning

that's what jada was in her wedding yesterday.

sigh

i'm lonely for some of my friends right now.

twins, kiddos, and lana

My office went to a Twins game! This is me and Rhonda, one of our lovely student workers. Her eyes are not always like that.

Twins lost. :-(


My cousin Jim has four kids: Abby, Matt, Kate, and Tommy. Jim's sister Cathy has one: Liam. Liam and Tommy both turned one. We had a party. This is Matt.


My dad ("Uncle Tom" -- actually Tommy is named after him!) bribed the kids to hug him for $5. NO problem for Abby; she loves dad! Matt too. Kate ... hates everyone. All she had to do was shake his hand to get the money, and it nearly killed her. Notice how uncomfortable she is!!


Lana and I went to lunch!! We ate breakfasty foods at the Edina Grill and chatted, and it was LOVELY. Oh I love her so much! Afterward, we went to a couple stores, including Anthropologie, where we found this book.


Here I am, posing with "my" book.


Me and Lanners!!! She's soooooooooooooooo great!!!

i miss

eir.
camp.
whit.
dro.
kevy.
megs.
camp.
b'dewayne mcgirr experiment.
my mom.
eir.
camp friends.
rochester friends.
college friends.
tracy.
camp.
NWC peeps.
camp.
eir.

a 2nd go

today i sat by my friend anna (who just started working at NWC) during our weekly all-campus "Office Bites" get-together, and i had so much fun throwing out funny comments back and forth with her.

if you knew my story with anna, this would seem more special to you.

anna was probably my best friend my senior year of college, but we had a major falling out. we weren't holding grudges against one another, but we basically couldn't be around each other without fighting. i didn't go to her wedding.

just recently we started a writing group together, and it has been great having her in my life again. we had a great talk a few weeks ago where i got to apologize for being such a jerk. she said i didn't need to apologize again, but i wanted to, and she forgave me. it was actually pretty cool.

and so today, sitting beside her out on the nazareth veranda, quietly firing out these witty one-liners during a presentation, i thought about how FUN she is and i realize how BLESSED i am to get a second shot at this friendship.

pretty cool, eh?

blah, etc. (cont'd)

at least now i've gone jogging.

i feel bored.

i mean, i have more than enough to do, but i miss people. my life is more fun when i have opportunities to see my peeps.

b'dewayne. i have 7 meetings/intervies/appointments/etc. at work tomorrow. sigh.

blah blah blah blah blah

i miss peeps; there's not enough time in one day; i'm really tired; i need to go jogging; i want to write beautiful things.

and funny things.

backio.

today, back to the shanty.

tomorrow, back to work.

next month, back to CAMP!!!

right now ...
i miss eir!

i have quite a lot to do this week, and i feel a little stressed. i'll survive.

love love.

Sonshine!

Sonshine was a buh-LAST! :-)

i loved having so many of my worlds collide in one location!

sonshine

i'm there!

it's so fun!!!!!!

pray for us!

love,
jackie lea

update for chas

first of all ...



I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL WITH THIS GUY! He's on Big Brother this season. And yes, Chas, I've been watching. It's so weird!

secondly ...

kevy is fighting forest fires in wyoming this summer after a year at Itasca Community College. found out today that it's not what he wants to do for LIFE, but he's enjoying his summer. GREAT KID. loves Jesus.

kristin is working in st. clizzy for Preferred Credit. i just hung out with her last weekend when we found Kev's stuffed squirrel "Slappy" -- we were sad that he left her for the summer, but mom told us later that it was INTENTIONAL so Slappy wouldn't get hurt or lost or something. HILARIOUS! tough firefighter, pshaw! ;-) Kristin's great. loves Jesus.

mom is great. loves Jesus.
dad is great. loves Jesus.

in general, i love my family and they love Jesus. and i love Him too.

life right now

yeah, i haven't been a very faithful poster lately, have i? sorry to my fans. hahaha.

things have been great. i went home for the weekend and hung out with my delightful family (sans kevy, who is valiantly fighting flames in western wyoming). i wish he coulda been there. we had fun swimming and chillaxing, and we took dad out for his bday/father's day (both late) on sunday. he wanted to go somewhere really nice, really fancy ... culver's. hahaha!

i got to visit with lana on the phone the other night, and that was lovely too (as is she). AND i talked to TRACY yesterday, who is mighty preggers with the lovely little emmaline. (btw, to update you on my other impregnated comrades: alison finally popped out shawn michael, stubborn little bugger, and bizzers' cutieface miriam is still chilling and maybe doing gymnastics in her comfy womb.)

more than you wanted to know, probably. as michael scott would say, "TMI ... too much information. i used to say, 'don't go there,' but that's -- pff! -- lame."

COMING UP ...

writing group tomorrow night, and PACKING for ...

SONSHINE thursday-sunday. i am kinda exhausted thinking about days of recruiting in the heat, BUT i'm really excited to see so many people i LOVE LOVE LOVE. IF YOU'RE THERE, STOP BY THE NWC TENT AND SAY HELLO!!!!

life seems so busy sometimes, like right now. i'm trying to cut back, actually, partly in preparation for grad school this fall. I'M REALLY EXCITED!!!

for those of you who are prayer warriors, please pray ...
for me and my Sonshine crew
for megan, one of my incoming students, whose mom was diagnosed with bone cancer in her jaw. there are a lot of kids in the family, and megan's mom is in texas for surgery right now
for hot springs, south dakota, and the fire there and for the other wildfires
AND
for the brave folks FIGHTING the fires, like my baby brother kevin whom i am SO PROUD OF.

love love,
jackie lea

4th of July

i had a WONDERFUL time in rochester for the 4th. whit's family took me out for lunch, and then later, the hemmers and dora and katie came over, and that was great! we watched the camp video (hooray!) and ate some good food.

then WES came over! YAY!

whit, dro, jill, kellie, and i went to the fireworks, and IT WAS SO FUN! dora, whit, and i made silly like comments and comparisons for every firework. :-) hahahahaha!

then we went back to whit's house, and WES came over again and played Apples to Apples with us girls for awhile! :-)

whit and i got brunch with wes the next morning too.

I LOVE ROCHESTER. I LOVE WHIT. I LOVE BEING AT HER HOUSE. I LOVE ROCHESTER FRIENDS. I LOVE THE 4TH OF JULY.

another good day!

work went very well, had lunch with my office at chilis (awesome blossom, extra awesome, hahaha), came home, read, went shopping for jada's shower, jogged, wrote a bit.

i'm going to go sit down at my desk and write s'more. fun stuff!

I'M SOOOOOOOO GLAD TO BE WRITING AGAIN!

sweet productivity!

I prayed that today would be productive, and THANK YOU, JESUS, it was!

I got a ton done at work, had lunch outside with my friend Anna, and went jogging tonight. I read some of my new book tonight, watered the lawn/played with the dog, and now am sitting down to write.

I miss people a lot. I miss my camp friends, and I miss the NWC peeps. I miss my roomie Des, and I miss my darling eir.

And my arm hurts.

BUT what a great day! :-)



P.S. Ten points to anyone who can tell me what tree it is that smells SOOOO GOOD outside!

faith restored

thank you, lovely posters.



i went back to work today after being gone more than there for the last two weeks. i feel behind. i'm still leading my team, but the distance between me and number two is down to just ONE STUDENT. insane, no? i'm going to lose.

(fyi, we don't actually FOR REAL compete against one another; we're a team. but we do have friendly competition. hee hee.)

tonight: finish cleaning my room (it looks great), maybe go to borders, jog?, write for a while. sounds good to me.

my sleep system is all out of whack after sleeping so much while sick and going to sleep late/sleeping in, so i'm forcing myself back into the swing of things.



i just ate ice cream for supper. i am so irresponsible.

i need affirmation

post if you read my blog.

sometimes i feel like i'm mostly just keeping a diary.

one more day

home from work, still trying to "rest off" that camp bug.

i sure do miss eir. and a lot of the old gang. i hope whit is having fun at camp right now.

i am re-reading the narnia books. they're so great.

i'm overwhelmed.

i wish

i could write poems as lovely as shells that glow.

i miss camp.

this past week, going outside in the evening has given me strange reminders of pine haven. sure do miss being there, my fellow counselors, and the kiddos. and being away from the "real world." i'll be back in august.

eir asked for camp stories. here's an excerpt of my email to her ...

I LOVED MY FAMILY. it was probably one of my top three families ever, we had so much fun. laughed a lot. I laughed so hard that my stomach and back hurt on the volleyball court one day. I haven’t laughed like that in YEARS. it was so good. our family’s name was “the b’dewayne mcgrrrrrr experiement: awkward flowers of Kuwait” -- please enjoy. there was a boy in our family named matt mcgirr who’d never been there before, pretty quiet boy, and he was one of our family mascots. it was soooo great.



erick klein and I talked on the dock til like 2am one morning. that was great.


whit and I prayed on the dock in morningside one day. nice.



my family’s lip sync was so funny (at least to me); it was like an aerobics video. I was on the low-intensity side and eventually fell out of my chair and “couldn’t get back up” but tried to keep up with the leader nevertheless. tay thought I was funny!!!! yay!



on thursday night, they had 90 minutes of a “response time” where they could visit different stations like “I serve” or ‘I forgive” – and I was one of like 8-10 faculty who sat in the commons area, waiting to talk to students. we stayed pretty busy. I got to have three good conversations that day. sigh. I love camp. and kids. but mostly Jesus.



I taught a class. it went fine.



gavy was there. he shaved one day and I kept saying, “There’s that baby face I love!” HAHAHA.



Andrew prayed in his family like this: “dearbabyJesus …”



andy Siemens looks grown up!!!! crazy how they change!



London impressed me with his maturity and leadership even though Kevin and jay weren’t there.



paige allen is gorgeous. so is Tanya hahn.



buncha kids talked to me about nwc.



I LOVE EMILY STRALEY. LOVE HER.



lesseeee …. oh I don’t know, lots of things. DORA was in my family! I love her. we went canoeing one day.



megs’ and my activity night went GREAT!

camp and cindy

these are two tiny samplings from camp and from cindy's wedding reception.

see more pics on my facebook account!

love,
jackie lea

hotel

and exhausted.

i drove 6 hours out to two rivers, wisconsin, today to see my darling friend cindy, and it was SO WORTH IT. it was so much fun. 6 hours with her, her GREAT husband ben, and her fun friends. very fun.

we ate, took some pictures, and we DANCED FOR HOURS!!! it was great.

again, pictures to come.

but for now -- sleep -- then tomorrow: back to the shanty to resume "normal" life. :-)

THANK YOU, JESUS, FOR YOUR MANY BLESSINGS.

and for Your mercy.

back

and exhausted.

it was great.

God is so lovely.

i adore teens.

pictures and stories to come.




but first -- sleep. then tomorrow -- cindy!!!! this will be the first time we've seen each other in 3 years!! I'M EXCITED!

(but exhausted.)

goodnight!

CAMP

oh my goodness! camp is TOMORROW.

I'm so overwhelmed!!!

I'm so excited to SEE PEOPLE and to hang out and to worship with Dro and Whit and Megs and Jon and Erick and Heather and Dani!!!!

I LOVE CAMP PEOPLE.

Wow, I had a great day today.
Tricia made french toast for me and Linds.
Went to 9th/10th camp meeting; was great, saw camp peeps!
Bec and Matt and Mir came over.
Went to London's grad party, fun!
Jeff and Alyssa came over.
Megs is BACK IN MINNESOTA, and STAYING IN DES' ROOM RIGHT NOW, and GOING TO CAMP WITH ME TOMORROOOOOOOOOOW!
great day, eh? tiring too!

Plus, somewhere in there i packed and bought a swimsuit and did loads of laundry and wrote a note for london.

I'm really overwhelmed but just gonna deal with stuff in the morning. There's still work to be done before headed to Long Lake.

Oh Long Lake! Long LAKE!!! I'M COMING!

camp.

so very, very soon.

i love Jesus.

goodnight.

sequels

aren't they so sad sometimes? especially when you just LOVE the original.

i'm still processing. The Last Unicorn is one of my top 10 books, and I just read the short sequel to it.

It's SO strange ... I felt happy to be with those characters again. I could hear their voices, and when they said or did things, I thought, "Oh yes, that's just like her," etc.

And now it's over, and as I said, I'm processing. I guess it was a good, fitting ending.

I wish there was more to read. I should pull out the original and be with them again.

i have good friends

i really do.

got it.

exhausting. hahaha!

unfortunately ...

now my profile is missing.

can anyone say, "jackie is not an html whiz"?

figured it out

and now my entries are left-aligned again.

and i can bear to look at them.

i hate that my entries are centered

but i haven't had a chance to figure out how i screwed up the template yet.

how are you all?

love,
jackie lea

camp is so soon!

megs and i have to finish prepping for our "Monday Night Madness" event --

and I have to prepare my class I'm teaching.

I worked on it tonight.

I'm so tired.

I am indebted to Christ.

full up?

you know i adore people.

but right now linds has a group of friends upstairs and i don't even want to introduce myself. doesn't that seem weird?

it's like ... i can only be close to so many people.


i am not putting this into words very well.



in the past, when i've met someone i truly liked, i've prayed that God would expand my heart to create room for that person.

do you think that's valid?

almost the (long) weekend

but not quite.




i love my youth group kiddos. love.

i love my roomies.

i love my fam.

i love my God.

i love my eir, my whit, my ash, my cindy, my megs, my trace, my biz.

i love my babies (cough, tracy's and becky's babies, TECHNICALLY).

i love my job.

i love my life.

i love my bed. goodnight.

selfish

i hate how un-Christlike i can be at the drop of a hat.

what a story

toilet plugged up ... bad.

4 roommates embarrassed to call their landlord.

experiments with an ace hardware "snake."

lots of clean up required.

right now

i feel like i am such an awful writer.

i tried to work on my poems this weekend, and i think i got some things accomplished, but sometimes i feel like i'm just working on the basic, elementary principles of writing.

i don't want to write like a college freshman; i want to write like a woman who has a bachelor's degree in writing.

sigh.

it's frustrating. maybe it's hard for you to enter into my frustration. some fields just have answers. English has DRAFTS. you keep working something til you think it's as right as it can be. very different than solving a math problem, eh?

anyway. nevermind. i'm just ranting.

love you!

productive day!

got up, went jogging (my deal with myself is that if i can jog 4x per week for 4 weeks in a row, i can buy an iPod) ...

ran errands

read outside for a long while, and talked to megs on the phone, planning activities for camp next month

tricia made french toast for dinner

watched a movie

now i'm going to work on my poems for awhile

LOVE!

question

can anyone see the pictures i've put above?

if not, maybe i did it wrong and i should just take 'em down.



my life is great. des moves in TOMORROW (basically).

i am only working a half-day tomorrow then going to stillwater with eir, whit, and whomps. then i'm gonna help des move her stuff in.

hooray!

Today

Kristin and I drive by a Caribou Coffee after church.

Kristin: Why does Caribou have a deer as its symbol?
Jackie: Uh ... it's a caribou ...
Kristin: That's a real animal?!




Today was great. Kristin and I went to Kimball and we tricked her into thinking Kevy couldn't come home for Mother's Day. We actually went out to dinner and were seated and stuff and there for awhile before Kev came strolling in. It was great.

I love my fam.

Love,
jackie lea

sista sista

kristin's staying at my house tonight. :-)

so many things

i love my youth group peeps.

i love my church.

i love my friends and my family.

i love my house.

i love my GOD.

i love my bed.

i love my roommates.

i love my life.

i love my mom.

i love my room.

i love my compassion peeps.

i love my camp.

i love my campers.

i love my job.

i love my opportunities.

i love you.

if you read this blog ...

i dare you to post a comment.

learning ...

i am learning to trust in my Father instead of worrying. i'll share with you a part of my conversation with Him last night ...

"help me to TRUST! help me to recall all the ways You've been with Your people, the ways You've rescued them and me, the miracles You set in motion and completed, the faithfulness -- EXTREME faithfulness -- You've always shown me. i am 25 years old, and You have SAVED me. i am Your daughter. You LOVE me. You have given me a loving relationship with You -- THANK YOU FOREVER. for Who You Are, I owe You praise! for Your salvation, i bow in humble gratitude, for Your rich blessings, i am speechless with thanks."

...

"all of this should combine into one huge pocket of trust in You. and i DO trust You, i DO. sometimes i think maybe my immediate desires get in the way of my trust ... "

...

"if [it cannot happen], let me trust You have other ideas, other times, other things in mind, and let my praise NOT SKIP A BEAT.

"for You are GOOD, and Your love for me is GREAT; Your power is mighty, and Your plan is perfect.

"so i want to praise, regardless of circumstances."


friends, if i am in your prayers, this is what i ask you to pray for: that I would TRUST my Savior.

love,
jackie lea

good, full weekend

but boy am i whomped now!

mmmm ... bedtime!

thank You, Jesus, for this sweet life You've granted me, the saving relationship You initiated with me, and the family and friends You've graced my path with.

my weekend alone

... has not actually been alone. :-)

tricia is in chicago, and lindsey is at the international house of prayer, and des has not moved in yet, so this weekend i was supposed to be alone.

which is very weird after living in a house with 7 other ladies.

let's see ...

last night, i went home, made myself dinner, organized my room, and read my book. then i got sick of being alone, so i asked whitney to come over. she did. then we went to meet tim and ash at perkins, but they got lost and we never saw them.

then today, i made lunch, and it was all gloomy and rainy, so i read my book out in the livingroom with a blanket, and then i got bored. i went shopping and bought my dress for cindy's reception, and now i am over at whitney's, blogging and watching High School Musical.

again.

hahahahaha.

tomorrow, church, then lunch with brookie, then heebers' bridal shower.

so i guess i wasn't alone as much as i had guessed. :-)

i love my life.

thank You, Jesus, for Your outstanding blessings, Your rich, rich gifts.

The Shanty ... remember, we're still moving in!

i'm still alive!

... just still busy unpacking!

LOVE the new place!

des is moving in THIS month now! hooray!!!!

i'll post pics of the house soon (once it's a little cleaner and more organized!)

how are YOU, blog world?
love,
jackie lea

last night

this is my last night living here in the lodge!!! it's kinda sad!

i'm incredibly excited to move, but still ... this was my home for two years.

tomorrow night: same bed, new room!

love,
jackie lea

to clear up the questions ...

I was just admitted to the

HUNTINGTON UNIVERSITY
GRADUATE SCHOOL OF CHRISTIAN MINISTRIES

in the

YOUTH MINISTRY LEADERSHIP

program.

It's an online program where we have class online for one month, meet in person for three days (sometimes in Atlanta, sometimes in Denver, sometimes in Huntington, Indiana, sometimes ... I forget the last place), then we meet online for another two months.

So I will still be working at NWC, going to NHC, working with the NHC youth group, and living in my cute little new house with Tricia, Linds, and Des.

While I am very excited, I guess I am hoping for an overwhelming peace from Jesus that I am pursuing the right path. I do feel a very strong calling on my life to work with youth, but I want to be sure this YML is the right program.

Hence, I ask your prayers!

Hope that answers lots of questions!!!
Looooooooove,
jackie lea

GRAD SCHOOL

I was accepted into my program. :-)

pray.

thanks.

something ...

She feels locked in her own life
Scared of what she might lose
If she moves away from who she was
And she's afraid of being free
There's a way she knows is right
And she can't feel the things she knows and so each step she's taking
Is a step of faith towards who she'll be

And suddenly it isn't what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i'm supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here
Superchic[k]

I think today was the first time I really listened to the lyrics of this song, and although I can't quite put my finger on it, these words really resonate with me.

"Scared of what she might lose
If she moves away from who she was
And she's afraid of being free" ...
Sometimes I wonder what I would be like without OCD. Would I be boring???

"There's a way she knows is right
And she can't feel the things she knows" ...
Having to separate feelings from knowledge.

"so each step she's taking
Is a step of faith towards who she'll be" ...
This makes me think of grad school. I don't know for sure what I should be doing, so I'm kind of stepping timidly forward in faith, hoping I'm doing the right thing.

"And suddenly it isn't what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i'm supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here" ...
In 25 years, I will probably look back and think, "WHY did I worry about that!"

The entire song seems to remind me of GOD'S SOVEREIGNTY.

I love it. Thank You, Jesus, for holding me.

i bought a table and chairs!

and we painted our rooms today.

check out my pics!

this weekend

tonight was a good "chill-night": pizza with trix, then home depot, then numb3rs. hahaha, am i such a loser? but it's so good to just relax.

tomorrow: painting my room at the new house! can you believe that i move a week from tomorrow?!! craziness!

sunday: i THINK my parents are going to my church here in the Cities; i sure hope so!!!!!!!!!

keep praying please! love!

please continue praying

i still feel so unsure.




today is a preview day at NWC; these days are big and fun and busy and EXHAUSTING. i'm tired right now, and i'm still at home!!! :-)

nhc

i reeeeeeeeeeeeally like my youth group kiddos.

i am really hoping to do an intense small group with some of the girls this summer.

i am going to go pray now.

how are you, my friends?

prayer request

Dear friends and family,

I truly desire for you to be lifting me up in prayer. My confidence in choosing the right graduate program was shaken today.

A lot of you don't understand what Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is like (hooray for you!), although if you desire a greater picture of how my mind works, I would recommend checking out the fictional book "Kissing Doorknobs" by Terry Spencer Hesser. It's written for children, so it's a quick and easy read. If you want a glimpse inside my mind, go for it.

All that to say that my confidence can easily be shaken, and today I want to blame my OCD. I haven't been good at taking my meds lately, and today might just show it.

Blah, this is a vulnerable entry for me.

I beg for your prayers.
With thanks,
jackie lea

one more thing

aren't noses funny?

also

i mailed my grad school app today.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

the roomies

tricia.
tricia and i have lived together for nearly four years. we went to college together but weren't really friends until after i graduated and moved in with her. we've been together ever since. i LOVE living with her; she's so fun, and she's totally willing to kick back and RELAX with me. when others are having crazy friday nights, tricia and i are likely grabbing supper somewhere, then watching Nanny 911 and Numb3rs. it sounds sad to you, but i LOVE it. :-)


linds.
i feel like God brought lindsey to us two years ago! we "found" her through a flyer posted on a bulletin board in Caribou Coffee. she ended up moving in with us, and i discovered a dear, sweet soul who tastes and enjoys God's grace. i love the way that lindsey sounds like she's about to laugh while she's talking about nearly ANYTHING.


yours truly.


des.
i was des' admission counselor. how weird is THAT? and yet it's this year that we've grown much closer, mostly over Caribou which morphed into homework/writing sessions where we talked the whole time. i love des' heart and convictions.

I AM SO BLESSED TO LIVE WITH THESE LADIES FOR THE NEXT YEAR!

my day

i had a good day. church (love those youth group peeps!), made myself a REAL lunch (attempting to learn to take care of myself ... yes, i'm 25, and fairly incapable), talked to eir online, finished up my grad school application and essays (!!!!!!), talked to eir more, had an allergic reaction to sadie, and now it's bedtime.

can you believe that i'm mailing my GRAD SCHOOL APP tomorrow?!?!?!!!!!!

what am i getting myself into?

homework.

great.

actually, the list of classes sounds AMAZING. Thinking Theologically in Youth Ministry, Theology of Discipleship Evangelism, Student Leadership in Youth Min, Sociology of Adolescence.

AMAZING!

sooooooooo excited. and nervous. my first class will meet in atlanta at the national youth workers' convention. SCARY! a) flying alone, b) class with strangers, c) at the national convention. (i'm such a baby.) (but i'll hide it well!!!)

if you're interested in reading my grad school essays, they're below.
looooooooove,
jackie lea

grad school essays

What are the highlights of your personal history with God?

At age 14, I publicly accepted Jesus Christ into my life, an act more likely motivated by what I was getting myself out of – Hell – than what I was getting myself into – a loving and fruitful relationship with my delightful Savior. I celebrate my “spiritual birthday” on January 31st each year.

Pine Haven Christian Assembly, a small Christian camp in northern Minnesota, was both where I first felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me and also the place that “mentored” me over the years. I would be dismissing an important highlight of my history with God if I did not mention my camp or the conversations I had with God beside the lake at night or my incredible time spent with Him there in a field, feeling crushed by His beauty.

This same camp is the place I discovered I enjoyed teenagers when I was a week-long camp counselor in 2001; it was like another baptism, entering the week as one person, uncertain of the entire enterprise, and leaving it as another, one who loved teenagers and desired to spend her time with them. It sounds extreme to say it this way, but it really was an incredible turnabout.

Another milestone in my life occurred shortly after that summer, during my second year of college when I was attending a Christian fellowship group at the local state university. We were discussing how the sheep of John chapter 10 know their shepherd’s voice. I wondered aloud what it meant if I didn’t know what my Shepherd’s voice sounded like. My Bible study leader asked, “Where can you go where you know you’re hearing God’s voice?” I pretentiously answered, “The Bible.” My leader responded with words that I have shared in messages with schools, youth groups, and camps: “Then read it. Get to know what His voice sounds like. Become familiar with it so that you will better recognize it when He speaks to you.”

Amazing advice! The Bible as a reference book transformed for me into God’s voice, Truth waiting readily to wash over my mind. I developed a greater hunger for the Word, and now I can say that I truly love the Bible. The practice of daily being in the Word, feeding on Truth, has been influential in shaping me into who I am, what I believe, and how I see God. It is what has allowed me to say confidently that I KNOW Jesus Christ.

What personal ministry vision does God seem to be leading you toward at this time in your life?

The framework of my ministry vision is established – love Jesus Christ with everything I am and disciple teenagers to love Him in the same way. I want to “proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that [I] may present everyone perfect in Christ” (Colossians 1:28). The skeleton of my ministry seems clear and strong, although the flesh on those bones has not yet developed in its entirety.

I feel a strong calling on my life to work with youth, and I am most interested in the areas of discipleship and mentorship. The integrity of the church is hurt by nominal believers who worship only on Sundays. In efforts to “present everyone perfect in Christ,” discipleship is key. I love where Paul, Silas, and Timothy say to the church of the Thessalonians, “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.” I believe the combination of discipleship along with this “life-investment” – in the fashion of Paul with the early churches or of Jesus with his disciples – is worthy of deep exploration in the field of youth ministry.

I hope to learn as much as possible about effective discipleship of youth with an idea of developing a curriculum, small group Bible study, or personal devotional journal – or even a leadership academy – that intends to push teenagers to begin thinking about their worldview earlier than they typically would. I have a vision of molding teens through intense lifestyle discipleship into Christian young men and women who have full ownership of their faith, are daily in the Word, know their spiritual gifts and use them to benefit the body of believers, and are leaders among their peers.

Embracing my calling toward youth ministry, my heart for teenagers, my spiritual gift of encouragement, and my undergraduate degree in the field of writing, I intend to pursue higher education in youth ministry and let God flesh out my ministry vision. He has proven Himself to be faithful to me time after time, and I am stepping into this Youth Ministry Leadership program with many ideas but one goal – to love Jesus Christ and honor Him in whatever direction and path He leads me. I want to pursue His ministry vision for me, and I trust that He will define it as I proceed.

Ministry experience

I can detail various ministry experiences I’ve been blessed to participate in, but I want to be clear that I believe youth ministry is bigger than just saying, “I’ve helped out here and there, chaperoned this or that, spoken or taught or encouraged at such-and-such time.” My lifestyle and my vocation are to love Jesus and to love teenagers.

The closest I can pinpoint as the start of my ministry with youth is August 2001 when I was a volunteer camp counselor for a week. I can not overstate the importance of that week; in fact, people who met me during or after that week cannot imagine me the way I was before it. I have continued to enjoy that camp ministry for a week or so each summer since then, and I have been able to develop relationships with the campers that last throughout the year outside of camp, sometimes including visits, notes, phone calls, and other forms of encouragement.

My calling toward youth ministry became very clear when God led me to my current position as an admission counselor at Northwestern College in the fall of 2003. As a senior counselor, I am able to serve teenagers and their families as they face the intimidating college decision. My ministry involves that service but also much guidance and counsel as my involvement in the lives of my students intensifies. A large amount of our communication is done via the internet or phone, but I also travel to their high schools. In the fall and spring, I often share messages with Christian high schools and youth groups. I’ve also led workshops at the Minnesota Christian Teen Convention.

Finally, I am a volunteer youth leader and small group leader with the senior high students at North Haven Church in North Saint Paul, Minnesota. I assist with youth group evening activities, co-lead a small group of young ladies, and participate in group retreats and other events. But I believe that involving myself in the lives of these teenagers is much more effective ministry than our Thursday evening meetings.

Often that deep and REAL ministry occurs away from huge events and spiritual highs. Being in the Word of God with a student is real discipleship. Those daily activities where we combine the common with the celestial – encouragement over coffee, investigating Scripture in our homes, sharing our hearts over a meal – are what lifestyle discipleship is all about.

isrealite

In the Old Testament, God showed Himself and His power to His people, the Israelites, over and over and over. AND YET THEY DOUBTED HIM!

He caused the mighty plagues upon the Egyptians and even SPLIT the Red Sea before His people so that they walked across on DRY LAND. He appeared to them as a pillar of fire and a pillar of cloud. He provided water, manna, and meat.

And yet, when Moses went up on the mountain, the people made a golden calf as a "god" who would go before them.

ISREALITES! So quick to forget God's faithfulness to you!!!

... and I'm the same.

My God has never failed me, the most recent example of His faithfulness the quick turnaround with finding a new house and roommates. And yet today I was so paralyzed with frustration about payments and the moving out situation that I wouldn't even get out of bed.

ISREALITE! So quick to forget God's faithfulness to me!!!

Lord, forgive me. Help me to trust You. You are mighty, and I want to rest in Your plans. Help me to trust You even when I am angry or trembling.

As they stood between the pursuing Egyptians and the bank of the Sea, "Moses said to the people, 'Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever. The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent' " (Exodus 14:13-14).

God My God, help me to keep silent while You fight for me. Let me rest in Your faithfulness, sovereignty, and love. Please give me peace not of this world.

I love You. Calm me down, my holy King. Keep my eyes on You.

when you really get down to it ...

i am rather selfish.

desiree

des and her mom, lovely ladies


i am SO EXCITED to live with this girl!!!!!!!!!

SO. EXCITED.

des is a delight, a friend whom i've gotten very close to in this past year. when i thought i was staying in the lodge and tricia was leaving, i thought, "i need another friend here besides lindsey" (not that i'm not friends with the other roomies!) ... "i want to live with des."

and now ...

i will be living with ALL THREE OF THEM. how amazing that I get to live with these three wonderful girls, des, linds, and trixie. how did this even HAPPEN?! i'm so, so, so, so excited.

we move on the 28th. although des won't move in until the end of july, she's still gonna come help us and hang out with us, etc. plus i think we'll be painting the weekend before that. EEEEEEEE! i must sound so silly. but i am really pumped.

how to describe des? a prayer warrior, strong, confident, but quiet (well, not necessarily after you get to know her, haha!), a woman who embraces God.

my roommate. (soon!)

love,
jackie lea

overwhelmed.

me. i just never seem to be quite on top of everything. sigh.

please pray that i will do stellar work on my viewbook-text writing assignment. it's a pretty big deal.

i am so tired, and there are so many things i want to do! i want to do them and enjoy them, and not be so tired and overwhelmed.

please, Jesus, deliver me.

the lodge roomies

Allison on the far left. Top row: Tricia, me, Linds, JJ. Bottom row: Kim, Liz, Karin.

These are my lovely roommates. Tonight Allison took us ALL out to dinner at the Olive Garden. Is that not SO, SO, SO SWEET?! Incredible. She's so lovely like that.

We are very busy ladies so it is extremely rare that all 8 of us are together at one time. In fact, I feel like tonight was the FIRST and ONLY time (besides when we're all sleeping under the same roof)!!! It's very hard to coordinate 8 schedules, so even planned events usually can't involve everyone.

So it was very wonderful that we all got to be together tonight. VERY wonderful.

It's kind of a last hurrah before Kim moves home, and Linds, Trixie, and I move to our new place.

We had fun; the waiter couldn't believe that we were all roommates at first! At the end of the meal, he brought us FREE dessert!! NICE!

The blessings bowl me over.

family

ooooh i just love my sister, gush, gush, gush.

love love love, loooooooooove. sister love.

i love kristin. i love my sister kristin. love love.








(hahahahaha)

quote of the day

"I've been scratching your back since I was a newborn."
Kristin Ann Sommers

sweet life.

slept in this morning.

lunch at panera with whit and eir.

eir and i came back to my house; she napped while i watched "A Beautiful Mind" ... i was supposed to nap too, but i'd never seen the movie before and got hooked.

we went to her house and had roast beef sandwiches lana made. mmmm!

then she did research for her paper, and i worked on my grad school application essays. we were very productive.

and together.





tomorrow i head to kimball to spend time with the fam for easter. how blessed i am that my entire family understands the significance of this important holiday. thank You, Jesus.

easter

my favorite holiday.

thank You, Jesus, for the mighty resurrection.

i have more to say about this, but tonight i just want to say:
I GET TO HANG OUT WITH WHIT AND EIR TOMORROW! woot woot!

Love,
jls

STILL

home sick from work.

sickie

my throat hurts AGAIN. i think i have problems. like sinusitis.

i'm not going into work, but i am probably going to just work from home.

BLAAAAAAAH!

i just woke up and i feel like i could take a nap.

i never used to get sick! i never even went to the DOCTOR during ALL of COLLEGE!!! what in the world?!

one shining moment

that is why i am still awake.

oh march madness.

ending in april.

love,
jackie lea

Pam Beasley/eir davis

Where oh where has my little eir gone? Oh where oh where can she beeeeeeeeee?

I know eir was on a retreat with her youth group this past weekend, but STILL. it feels like it's been forever since i've talked to her. goodness gracious.

(if i don't talk to eir for like 2 days, i feel like it's been forever, fyi.)

(she was actually just home for spring break and is returning again on thursday for easter.)

speaking of easter, it is my favorite holiday.

this morning pastor darrell was talking about how the cross is foolishness to Gentiles and a stumbling block to Jews. very interesting sermon, and it seems to fit in rather well with the poem i am writing about how crazy the Gospel is.

WEEKEND.
i had a lovely weekend with no responsibilities (well, i had one that i got out of). i had pizza with tricia, and i went to ikea with des, and i went to church and saw the peeps, and i did CRAFTS. i sound like a dork.

THIS WEEK.
i have lots to catch up on. and eir comes back thursday, and i don't work on friday.

AND.
PRISON BREAK SEASON FINALE IS ON TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!

ALSO.
please pray that i make wise decisions about grad school. i am asking a lot of questions about the YML program at Huntington, but I would REALLY appreciate your prayers. THANK YOU.

i should go to sleep.

EIR, COME HOME!
love,
jackie lea

A Tribute to Cindy Hunt

This is my darling friend Cindy and her husband Ben. I chose this picture because of her facial expression. This is how I picture this beautiful young lady whom I haven't seen in YEARS.

Let me tell you about Cindy.

Right before my senior year of college began, my roommate from the previous year -- Katie Dean -- and I were teamed up as leaders for an orientation group. We memorized the names of our incoming group of peeps, including one Miss Cynthia Ann Flessert. Turns out that Cynthia was also on my hall -- and did NOT got by Cynthia.

Cindy and I probably started to get to know one another better when I was invited to be a part of her "Anti-Social Social" group. I adored those girls (and continue to love them!).

She is one of my friends who GETS IT. One of my most cherished memories with her is a night in my old apartment when we played a million games of mancala straight while discussing MANY, MANY things. I cried while we played, even. I told her that that was the night that bonded me to her forever.

I said that if you wanted to hear a story about grace, I have one about Cindy, and it's true. She is a friend of mine whom I hurt DEEPLY (for months, unknowingly) and had no excuse and nothing to say except that I was truly sorry and could she forgive me?

Her response (which I still have): "First of all, let me start off by saying that of course I forgive you. I forgive you seventy times seven times. I forgive you a million times."

To which I responded: "Thank you, dear Cindy, for being the best part of my day. I honestly feel your response gives me a picture of Christ's grace."

(I've played this story down, because it actually took days and involved a lot of tears and ANGUISH, actual anguish, not to mention the months of grief I had caused Cindy.)

And doesn't it? I mean, WHO DOES THAT, especially in today's society? You hurt me; I hurt you. MAYBE things will be okay if you give me a good enough excuse, an acceptable reason, something to justify your behavior -- then MAYBE I will be able to move forward.

But I didn't have good excuses or justification for Cindy. So I just asked for her grace, and as you saw above, she extended it a million times over. Remind anyone of a certain Savior we know?

I want to be like that too.

Anyway, since then Cindy and I have been much better at keeping in touch while she is in the Navy, and we are faithful in lifting one another up in prayer. Her and Ben's wedding was in February and in California, and I wasn't even able to be there, sadly. Imagine how EXCITED and BLESSED I was to be asked to be an honorary bridesmaid at her wedding reception in Wisconsin this summer?

Besides the fact that
a) I will get to see my DEAR Cindy for the first time in YEARS, and
b) I will get to meet Ben, her wonderful husband

... I will get to buy a new dress. :-) Thanks for the wonderful excuse, Cindy!

So this post is to honor an important woman in my life -- Cynthia Ann Hunt -- and to let everyone who reads this know how special she is to me.

I actually have a list -- a real, actual, written list -- of friendships I would fight to maintain.

Her name is definitely on it.

so many great things

1) salvation. eternal life, knowing Jesus Christ.

2) amazing family and friends.

3) moving into great new house with lovely roomies like trixie, linds, and des.

4) MULTIPLE church families (wonderful ones!).

5) NWC will reimburse me for 50% of my grad school tuition.

6) i love my job.

7) i have a writing group.

8) wonderful ministry and teaching opportunities in my life.

9) i feel like i should list ten things, and i am saving one for the end ...

10) I AM AN HONORARY BRIDESMAID FOR MY DEAR FRIEND CINDY!!!! (the short story: Cindy and her husband Ben are both in the Navy, and they fell in love quickly and had to marry quickly otherwise, with Ben's promotion, it would be illegal for them to date, so they got married last month in California, and lots of people didn't get to be there, including me, and they are having a reception this summer in Wisconsin, and I GET TO BE AN HONORARY BRIDESMAID THERE.) How awesome is that? I am SO honored and blessed. If you want to hear a story about grace, I'll tell you one about Cindy.

there you go, folks. now list me things you love about YOUR life.

sigh

looooong drive back to the cities, but i'm back now.

i can't believe it's only wednesday.

i miss people.

i am incredibly tired.

love,
jackie lea

i love my life

last night i had dinner with 7 admitted students (plus one late applicant) and coffee with 2 young ladies whom i LOVE (caitlyn and heather), and today i saw bret magnuson at SDSU and had dinner with 4 admits in watertown.

NICE.

needless to say, i'm exhausted.

i'd appreciate your prayers for my head. i love my Lord so very much; unfortunately, my OCD (and perhaps Satan) was trying to steal some of my joy tonight.

i struggle still with legalism and with orders and procedures, and what i really want is to say and MEAN, "Into Your hand I commit my spirit; You have ransomed me, Lord God of truth" (Psalms).

i am so very excited to sleep.

thank you, dear comment-posters. i AM glad to know you're reading!

i'll give you more details about the house as they come. for now, know that we have mailed our application and that i am very pumped about living there and being roomies with desiree! i am very excited to continue living with my dear roommates tricia and lindsey too. :-)

boy, i'd appreciate prayers for my head.

love,
jackie lea the OCD bee

PRAISE GOD!

WE ARE MOVING INTO THE HOUSE!

me, tricia, linds, and des.

i am thrilled; i really am.

another reminder of God's faithfulness.

amen and amen.

p.s. i really am SO excited!

PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.

the house.

tricia, des, and i are about 100% sure of moving to the new brighton house next year. lindsey is still up in the air, but she visits the house tomorrow morning. please, please pray that she will love it (if that is what God wants). i feel fairly confident that it will be my home next year.

things have just been working out so flowingly that i feel i am seeing God's hand in the events. i don't want to speak too soon, but ... as i said, i'm pretty confident it will be my home next year.

time out.

i want to stop and say how great my God is. i don't even know what words to use. but He is outstanding. He is hilarious and my favorite and eternal and creative and ... I'm still not hitting the word that describes the way I'm feeling.

He is just so FUN and LOVELY. how BLESSED i am to know Him.

big time out.

just stop for a second and consider how amazing it is that we are even ABLE to know God -- or ALLOWED to know God.

i am working on a poem about this -- the irony, the oddity -- it's in VERY early stages, but it seems appropriate to share right now:

UNTITLED
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14

Am I the only one to notice the way
the low orange moon is trying to walk the streets of Minneapolis
as if it were not the least peculiar for it to window shop on Nicollet Mall?
When the sky is brown instead of black, my senses are up,
but why can’t they see how strange this is,
a full satellite waiting at a stoplight, wishing for a bagel?

Holiness networking with profanity.
Magnificent absurdity, the whole of it: God putting on
skin and walking with liars. A King born in a stable.
God cooking breakfast.



... ok, I repeat: VERY EARLY STAGES. There is so much more to be said about the peculiarity of the Gospel.

Anyone else amazed that God dwelt among men?

THANKS TO GOD!

the workshop went great.

the house stuff seems to be coming along.

please continue to pray!

i go to sodak monday.

i sure am tired.

love,
jack

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

Soooooooo ... Des, Trixie, and I visited the New Brighton house ...

we are falling in love ...

pictures follow.

I am praying about this. We would be paying more for a smaller space, BUT there are lots of reasons for going.
1) The Lodge might all fall apart soon anyway.
2) We won't have to deal with Arden Hills parking/other weird rules.
3) We won't have to deal with shady landlords (these are Christians and one is a general contractor).
4) It is nicer ... I feel like I want something nicer at this stage of my life.

Beyond that, there is the potential that I could live with Lindsey, Tricia, and Des ... I imagine being in that cute house with them, and I LOVE the idea.

PLEASE PRAY THAT GOD CLEARS EVERYTHING UP FOR US AND THAT HIS WILL IS DONE.

Whatever that is. And I hope that I am content in whatever it is.

Check out these pics ...

room 2

CIMG0920
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

the walls were a deep, rich red ... i picture lindsey in this room ...

room 2

CIMG0921
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

des scurrying out of the pic.

room 3

CIMG0922
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

iiiiiiiiiiiiitty-bitty room. des would take this'un.

kitchen

CIMG0929
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

adorable and bigger than ours now. they just put in new countertops, so the paint is being redone, and that's why the oven is moved.

room 4

CIMG0931
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

ummm ... not done yet, obviously

room 1

CIMG0927
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

my fav!

living room

CIMG0928
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

cuuuuuuuute

multiple items

1) I hope this makes your day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_mBLWpdwnI

2) Just today I talked to three people who read my blog (sister, whitty, and eir) who do not comment. It gives me the strength to carry on with my posting, knowing there are readers somewhere out there. Beneath the pale moonlight.

3) Tonight whit and eir and i were supposed to plan our fellowship workshop. Let's see ... we ate brownies, watched American Idol, watched High School Musical, and practiced the dance from HSM to "We're All in This Together." We are NERDS.

4) Really excited to check out the New Brighton house tomorrow! I would be ALL for moving back to Newbs.

5) I love my friends. New quotes: "Have you ever heard of murder?" and "Would Clanzy like a chicago-style dental care road sign in their pants?" Don't ask. I repeat: I love my friends.

does anyone care to see my poem as it develops?

CYCLE

Flawless teeth break the skin of Eden’s taboo fruit,
and Adam’s clock begins, the first click as distinct as a snap
made by the grieving fingers of God.

Transience is a root-canal realization: breathtaking and terrible.
A rush: tight skin releasing, the rip of heated shame, the
strange new spray on the brow, all following
the defiant handshake with mortality.

A climax of terror, real and swelling, and the vague promise
of death, but the word has no meaning, and yet Eve fears – but wait.
Her stomach is mottled with odd disappointment
when mysterious death is delayed.

…

It’s nicer to imagine a barefoot Father strolling on the grass,
hands behind his back while leaning to smell a sweet marigold,
a small smile resting on his lips as he surveys his own creation,
than to picture what sadness must have hung like a weighty pendulum
from His heart as He called, “Where are you?” to the hiding man and wife,
knowing full well that they were soiled and ashamed, and that it had begun.
The cool of the day lost magical pleasantries as darkness truly fell.

…

Fitted in fur garments of some friend’s sacrifice and adjusting to life
beyond garden boundaries, the couple stops to consider:
was it really that bad? Wasn’t it only just fruit? Decay seems so natural now.
Puzzled, Adam sometimes wanders alone to Eden’s eastern border,
studies that continually flaming sword, and marvels at the extreme gate:
is this really necessary?

…

Her name suits her well, this mother of two. Eve laughs again
as she watches the boys play together; there is something of the
Garden to them. Innocence, purity, joy. She remembers it vaguely,
but she has little time for daydreams with Cain and Abel’s urgent needs.
And why does she need daydreams, with Cain and Abel in her arms?

…

Cain, we are both well aware of the field where your brother lies dead;
his is the first of many gurgling atrocities to call to Me from the earth.
The bitter taste of blood is on the soil’s tongue; it will not answer you.

…

So this is death.
Stunned at the discovery, Adam is speechless as the word without meaning
is defined by a bleeding body in a field and a guilty son, wandering in Nod.
His silence is profound; unlike his wife, he has no thoughts now. Indeed
she sobs with acute realization: Adam, it was we who began this.










So that's it, so far. It will go through another critique soon with my WRITING GROUP! (I love having a writing group!) I'm working on some other things as well, but my blog readers don't seem to be avid comment-posters.

My self-esteem is fed by blog comments. Please feed my self-esteem, people. :-)

so i'm working on the template ...

and messing it up, but TRYING to be creative. and TRYING to work with html code. haha.

soooooooooo ... housing is still up in the air, even after our discussion with the landlord today. now i'm in this weird limbo where i think i could stay, but i'm not sure i want to anymore! isn't that crazy?! in just one week!

hmmm. pray like crazy for me, folks! not sure what will happen!

... and that's kind of exciting!

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.

how i love Him.

exciting news

i think that i am becoming more confident in Who God Says I Am. Also in the things I am doing, the ministry I actively pursue.

It is good to feel this way.

General Update

life.
busy!!! traveled for work this past week, nowhere exotic, but lots of fun. spoke for the AEFC youth group on Wednesday, i love those kiddos. eir is home! nwc spring break is almost over (hooray! i miss the peeps!)

this week.
hanging out with eir today. lunch with elly, a youth group girlie tomorrow. then viewing a townhome (see post below). wednesday coffee with eir and des!!! thursday youth group. friday-saturday: teen convention with my old youth group ... and eir and whit and i are teaching a workshop there.

teen convention.
workshop is about fellowship. we haven't begun to plan. it was kind of a last-minute thing that we agreed to do. i love the opportunities in our lives!

love.
i feel in love right now. with my Savior who holds me. and with the amazing man who will someday be my husband and push me even closer to our Savior.

the pursuit of happiness.
happiness pursues ME. i have a fantastic life, even with all the chaos, OCD, and stress involved.

AND ...

FEEL FREE TO APPLAUD ...

I AM DEBT-FREE!!!!! i paid off my student loans yesterday!!!!!

future.
grad school? youth ministry leadership? huntington? only thoughts.

i'd love to hear from you, friends.

For those who care ... the housing situation

Here's the email I sent to my dear friend Desiree the other day. It will explain what's going on with our housing.

Hello wonderful Desiree!

I miss you, and I mean it! It's crazy how quickly you have escalating into being one of my favorite people. :-) I hope that you are having a wonderful break in South Dakota, and that the weather in Hot Springs is super nice. HOWEVER, if you return with a tan, our friendship might be strained. It snowed here tonight. I do not get Minnesota weather.

I appreciate your prayers so much; I admire your devotion to prayer, Des.

Here's the deal. I'll make it concise, although it started last JULY.

July 06: we get a notice from the city of Arden Hills saying that we are only allowed to have four cars in our driveway (a bit difficult with 8 vehicles!). We freak out, but our landlord says no problem, don't worry about it.

December 06: we get a second notice from the city. Landlord says no worries, working on it. Not a big deal.

March 07:
Sunday: we get a third notice from the city. They are serious and will issue citations if we have more than four vehicles in the driveway starting Monday, March 19th. I talk to one of our landlords (who was fixing something at our house). THIS NEEDS TO BE DEALT WITH. CALL THE CITY TOMORROW AND THEN CALL ME. I wasn't super worried because the landlords seemed calm about the whole thing.

Monday: crap hits the fan. The landlord calls the city and ... there's no way around it. Sorry, four cars in the driveway. So we can put two in our garage and 4 in the driveway, but we have to do a workaround temporary thing with two cars til we figure things out.

(Monday also includes jackie lea laying the SMACK DOWN with the landlord.)

Now: we are waiting to see what is going to happen. It seems pretty clear that only 6 people can live in this house from here on out, but if the landlords don't decrease the rent, then we might have to move.

I love the house, but I'm open to other things.

I've been sharing Bible verses with my students lately from 2 Chronicles 20 and from the Psalms. The first has people wanting to make war on the king of Judah and he basically says to God, "We are helpless against this great multitude. Nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You." And in Psalms, it says, "I will counsel you with My eye upon you." What an amazing complement the two are! Our eyes are on God, and His eye is on us. As believers, we should feel so cradled and secure in that.

During this ordeal, I am trying to trust God and hold on to those verses. I don't want to just tell my prospective students to trust God and then not do the same myself. I think that He is making me more comfortable and okay (and even excited!) about the possibilities that might come from this! How exciting is that!!!!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS. Please don't stop!

Rather overwhelming, eh?

And yet, God's eye is upon us. I want to keep mine on Him.

I love you, Des. Keep praying!!! About our housing stuff (Karin's in Guatemala and has no idea any of this is even happening!), and about your housing stuff, and about Haley's housing stuff, and altogether, that God's perfect will would be done in our lives.

You know what? He sure is good. And I do trust that He will work things out.

Love you lots and see you soon!
jackie lea

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY

Oh my goodness, PLEASE PRAY about our living situation. Craziness has happened, and we don't know what's going to happen within the next week or so.

PLEASE PRAY. I know God has a plan, and I want to RELAX and rest in His sovereignty. I just feel so sickish and nervous about what's going to happen. I don't want to move out.

Please pray for the situation and for ME to trust my Heavenly Father.

Native Minnesotan

Today was about 50 degrees ... so I rolled my car windows down.

This evening felt so warm, I had to change clothes.

It's 43 degrees right now, and I don't think I can sleep under my comforter. Too hot.

I love Minnesota. I really do.


And for your enjoyment ...

What American accent do you have? Your Result: North Central "North Central" is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw "Fargo" you probably didn't think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a Canadian a lot.
The West
The Midland
Boston
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_american_accent_do_you_have">What American accent do you have? Quiz'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Youth Group

One week later ... the photos of my youth group peeps.

Aren't they precious??! :-)

Brooke

CIMG0748
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

Awwww! So cute and sweet.

Jenna

CIMG0749
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!!!!

Becca

CIMG0750
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

I LOVE THIS GIRL!

Sam

CIMG0752
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

Lookin' a little shady!!

Corey and Andy

CIMG0753
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

Ask Corey what he learned in 7th grade.

Danny

CIMG0755
Originally uploaded by jarujav.

Wants to be a pilot. :-)